


Yuri on Ice

by fancywalrus



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 07:40:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8836084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fancywalrus/pseuds/fancywalrus
Summary: Viktor is so convinced that Yuuri will do perfectly on his free skate at the Grand Prix Final, but Yuuri isn't as sure. And what if he loses? Will Victor leave?





	1. Part 1: Super Sappy Confessionals

We all have to stay alive however we can. 

_ Why do you skate, Yuuri? _

His sister had asked him that, once, when they were younger. Yuuri’s response? 

_ It’s the only place where I can be myself, Mari-neechan.  _

  
  


It was time. Yuuri had managed to get an outstanding score on his short program. 110.92. A personal best. The best of all the short programs at this year’s Grand Prix Final. But could he follow up? 

Yuuri’s heart was racing during the six-minute warm up. He knew that he shouldn’t be overthinking things so much, but he had yet to land his quad flip. If he flubbed it, he wouldn’t win gold. He might even miss the podium all together. 

_ And then what?  _

A scary thought. 

Would he retire from skating? He had considered it last season, why would this season be any different? He and Viktor hadn’t really talked about it all that much. Sure, at the airport, Viktor said that he wished Yuuri would never retire. But what did that really mean? Did Viktor really want to keep coaching Yuuri forever? Or did he just want to stay close to Yuuri? 

Yuuri dared a glance over to the man in question, who was currently watching Phichit’s performance. The friendly Thai skater was perfect on the ice. Today, Phichit had managed to tap into a newfound grace that he had never skated with before. 

Viktor caught Yuuri staring at him, and gave the younger man a smile. 

“Your friend is really doing a good job,” Viktor said, putting an arm around Yuuri. 

Yuuri nodded. He let Viktor drape himself over him, but didn’t reciprocate. They weren’t alone, after all. Currently, they were in the backstage viewing area, and Chris, Otabek, and Yurio were all there with them. JJ was preening in the nearest men’s bathroom. Yurio was up next. 

“I’m sure that you’ll do better, though,” Viktor said, full of confidence. Yuuri gave him a half smile. How could he be so sure? 

“Yeah right,” Yurio spit out. “Just don’t choke out there, pig.” 

Yuuri blinked, then gave Yurio a genuine smile. 

“Good luck out there,” he told him. Yurio scoffed and walked out to the rink. Phichit finished his free skate program, to an eruption of cheers from the audience. 

Yuuri closed his eyes. 

If only he could empty his mind, and fill it just with thoughts of skating. Then, he was sure that he could stick his quad flip. But that was impossible. Yuuri was known for being a nervous wreck at each performance. How could he forget about all the pressure he faced? Especially now? This was the culmination of all of his and Viktor’s work! If he failed now, people would really hate him for being the one who took Viktor away from the skating world. He’d be seen as the man who stole Viktor for nothing. He didn’t want that. 

And if he didn’t win gold . . . would Viktor leave? He said that he wanted to stay, but he never said he would. He’d never made any promises, except for the one about if Yuuri won gold. But if he didn’t? . . . what would happen? 

It was getting a little hard to stay upright. Yuuri broke out of Viktor’s grasp and reached for his bottle of water. Viktor turned around. Everyone else was watching Yurio skate now, but Yuuri could feel Viktor’s eyes following him. 

Viktor walked up behind him. 

“There’s something wrong, isn’t there?” 

Yuuri could feel tears coming out of the corners of his eyes. 

“No, no of course not. I just need . . . some air. It’s a little stuffy in here.”

 

Yuuri turned around and walked out of the viewing room, and to the nearest staircase out of the building. He didn’t get as far as outside, though. Viktor followed him. 

“Yuuri, what’s wrong?” Viktor asked, grabbing the younger man’s arm. 

Yuuri turned around. He was crying now, unrestrainedly. 

“I . . . this program - you and I . . .” he could barely breathe. 

Viktor put his hands on Yuuri’s face. 

“What’s wrong? You weren’t like this yesterday. I thought you were fine now.” 

Yuuri shook his head. 

“Yuuri, you’re going to do great out there! I know that you will!” 

“And if I don’t?” 

“You have to be confident! You’ll never win with that attitude!” 

Viktor wasn’t understanding, Yuuri had to make him understand.

“Vik, what are you doing next season?” 

Viktor was caught off guard. 

“W-what?” 

“You said that you wished I’d never retire. We have these rings. You said . . . you said you’d marry me if I won gold. But what if I don’t? What if I lose today, and I want to retire after tonight? What if I break my leg tomorrow, and I can never skate again? What if I come in sixth again? Will you leave? W-would you still want to stay close to me?  _ Will you hate me? _ ” 

The last question was little more than a whisper. 

Viktor’s eyes were stern, and he lowered his hands from Yuuri’s face. 

“Yuuri Katsuki, how dare you even ask those things?” 

Tears were falling out of Viktor’s eyes too, now. 

Yuuri gasped. Had he really managed to upset Viktor? 

The older, gray haired man held up his right hand. 

“You gave this to me.” A statement, not a question. “And when you did, with this gift, came a question. An unspoken question, but a question all the same. And when I accepted this gift, I gave an answer. Now, I know what everyone thinks of me. That I’m flighty, and mercurial. That this is all just a phase. That I can’t commit to anyone, or anything. But I thought that you knew better than that, Yuuri Katsuki.” 

“I . . .” Yuuri didn’t know what to say. 

“Because those are all lies. My whole life, I was only committed to one thing: skating. I gave everything I had for success in skating. And now, I’m 27, and you know what all that hard work and sacrifice got me?” 

Yuuri stayed silent. 

“Nothing. It got me loneliness. Gold medals that collect dust on my shelf. An apartment that I share only with a dog. People who barely remember my birthday. Success isn’t everything, Yuuri. I gave up skating, because I wasn’t fulfilled anymore. And being with you, that fulfills me. You fulfill me, Yuuri Katsuki. 

So if you win, or if you lose, I’m going to stay close to you for as long as you’ll have me. Because I can’t go back to the lonely life I had before. I’d much rather be on the sidelines, cheering you on even if you don’t win, then skating in the rink alone, winning medals, with no one to smile at.” 

Yuuri couldn’t breathe. What was he supposed to say to that?

Viktor couldn’t choke back his sobs anymore. 

“Say something, Yuuri! I have doubts too! You gave me this ring, but are you prepared for everything that comes with it? Am I just an idol to you? A hero on a pedestal? Am I just the skater that you want to have, so you can say that you bested him? That you conquered Viktor Nikiforov?” 

Yuuri’s eyes grew large. Those thoughts had never even crossed his mind. Viktor had stopped being just an idol long ago. After getting to know him for the past 8 months, Yuuri could say that the man was definitely human. 

And all those other things? . . . he’d had no idea that Viktor had those doubts. But it made sense, that he did. Yuuri would never think to be with Viktor, just so that he could conquer his idol. The whole idea was ridiculous, all of Viktor’s doubts were.

So . . . why was he having such a hard time responding to Viktor’s questions? 

They were both crying earnestly now. Yuuri had never seen Viktor cry before. It was a distracting sight, and made it impossible to answer his questions. 

“Viktor, I . . .” he tried to explain. But at the sight of Viktor’s tears, Yuuri just began to cry more. 

Then, they heard the announcer over the loudspeaker. 

“Next skater on the ice is Jean-Jacques Leroy.” 

Viktor inhaled slowly. 

“We should go, you’re after JJ,” Viktor said to Yuuri, as he wiped the tears off his face and attempted to smile again. 

Viktor took a step forwards, but Yuuri didn’t move. How could he? They couldn’t just leave things like this, in disaster and disarray. 

So Yuuri did the only thing he could think of that didn’t require more words, which was something he wasn’t all that great at. 

He stood on his toes, and gave Viktor a kiss. 

Viktor’s eyes widened, and he gasped. 

The kiss was brief, and chaste. It was only their second one. 

And then, Yuuri said something that he’d never said to anyone before, ever. 

_ “Ai shiteru.” _

From the look on Viktor’s face, Yuuri knew that he understood perfectly. 

_ I love you.  _

Yuuri turned around, and without waiting for Viktor, walked to the rink. 


	2. Free Skate of Confidence!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri performs his free skate at the Grand Prix Final

His cheeks were burning red, as he skated to the center of the rink.  _ I love you?!  _

Yuuri could barely believe it was he who had said those words. Yuuri knew of couples in Japan who were married for years, and had never said those words to each other. And he’d only known Viktor for a little over 8 months!

But it was true. 

He did love Viktor. Viktor made him feel . . .  _ fulfilled.  _

The music started. Yuuri began to skate. 

He started off his program with the normal steps and spins. 

_ Viktor, I’m so sorry.  _

How was Yuuri supposed to have known that Viktor had doubts? He probably should’ve been more attentive. 

He went into his quadruple toe loop, double too loop combination. 

_ Perfect, Yuuri,  _ thought Viktor. 

“He nailed his first jump combination!” 

Yuuri couldn’t hear the announcers. He could barely even hear the music over his own roaring thoughts. 

He should’ve known better. 

He went into the next step sequence. Then, a perfect quadruple salchow. 

_ Viktor will never leave me. He cares about me. We’ve become a part of each other’s lives now, and there’s no going back.  _

Viktor couldn’t take his eyes off Yuuri. He transitioned into a beautiful camel spin. 

_ I am stronger now, because of love.  _

But it wasn’t just because of Viktor. 

“A perfect triple loop!” 

Love was all around him. He had so many people who loved and supported him. Yuuri thought of his parents, of Mari, of Minako, and the Nishigori’s, of Phichit and Celestino. Even Minami, and Chris, and Yurio. 

_ And I care about all those people too. It’s not just about skating. I thought that the ice was the only place I could really be myself. I get nervous when I skate in front of others, because I don’t want to show them that part of me that’s so personal. The reason why I’ve done so well this season is because when I skate, I forget about everyone and just picture Viktor.  _

Yuuri glided on the ice, with his arms outstretched. He closed his eyes, and felt the breeze on his face for a brief second. 

_ But the truth is, there are so many people who love and support me, who I can be myself in front of.  _

An effortless takeoff into a triple axel. 

“He nailed it! Skater Katsuki is on a roll!” 

Phichit and Chris smiled from where they were watching. Yuuri was so relaxed today. 

_ I don’t have to be afraid anymore. Viktor showed me that. I can be myself on the ice, and people won’t hate me. They might even like the real me.  _

Yuuri moved on to the next jumps. A triple flip, then a triple axel, single loop, triple salchow combination. 

He landed them without fuss. 

“ _ Show me the skating you can honestly say that you liked best.”  _  That was what Viktor had said, just the other day. Well, this was it. The skating he liked best was when he was alone, by himself, and no one was watching. It was when he could be himself. He wasn’t alone now, but he let his skating reflect his true self anyways. 

_ If this is the last time I skate, I’ll show everyone the true me.  _

“And his next jump is a triple lutz, triple toe loop combination,” the announcer said. Viktor clenched his hands on the side wall of the rink. Yuuri was doing so well! 

A perfect combination. 

_ And now the step sequence. I can do this, I’ve already come this far. Mom, dad, are you proud of me? Phichit, are you glad? Have I brought honor to Hasetsu? Have I made Viktor smile?  _

Yuuri was, of course, moving too quickly to look at Viktor and see, but he imagined that the older man was smiling. And not one of his fake smiles. Not a paparazzi smile, or a photo-op smile. A real one. 

The ones he only gave Yuuri. 

_ Here it is, the last one.  _

Viktor held his breath. 

_ You fulfill me, Yuuri.  _

“A perfect quad flip! Amazing! And at the end of his program, too! What stamina Katsuki has showcased today!” 

JJ and Yurio gasped. Phichit shouted in joy. Chris couldn’t hold back a smile. Otabek gave a sullen clap. 

“Amazing, Yuuri!” Viktor shouted. The skater couldn’t hear him. The audience was enraptured as he finished the last few moves of his program. 

He completed his performance, arm outstretched and head turned to where Viktor was standing. 

Or, where Viktor should’ve been standing. 

But his coach was already running for the kiss and cry. Yuuri smiled, and let the sweat run into his eyes, further blurring the already fuzzy arena. The audience’s cheers were deafening. Yuuri took a moment to give a few short bows. 

_ I won’t stop skating, _ Yuuri thought.  _ I finally feel okay letting people see the real me. Even if Viktor doesn’t want to be my coach, even if he wants to be someone else’s coach, or if he wants to compete again, I’ll keep skating. I’ll remember everything he taught me, and I’ll use his love to keep surprising him.  _

Yuuri stooped down to pick up an onigiri plushie that someone had thrown near his feet. He skated towards Viktor. 

The older man was crying, and he threw himself at Yuuri. Thankfully though, he waited until Yuuri was off the ice, unlike at the Cup of China. 

When Viktor had him tight in his arms, that’s when he whispered to Yuuri. 

“I love you too, Yuuri.” 

Yuuri instantly broke down into tears. 

“V-viktor! I . . . I-I’m so sor-” 

“It’s okay,” Viktor interrupted. “You don’t have to say anything. Just stay close to me.” 

Yuuri and Viktor were almost too busy crying that they missed the scores. 

“212.08 on the free skate, for a total of 323.0! Amazing!” 

Yuuri gasped when he saw the score. Had he really done that well? 

“Did I really do that well?” Viktor was smiling, and he embraced Yuuri. 

“I’ve never, ever seen anyone skate that well, in my entire life. Yuuri, that was so amazing!” 

Yuuri gave a small smile. 

“Well, that’s because you’ve never seen yourself skate.” 

Viktor shook his head, and leaned in to kiss Yuuri on the forehead. 

“No. I always scored high because I did well technically, but your performance today was so . . . emotional. I’m sure that if we add in a combination or something, you could totally crack my high score for the world competition. Or, if you don’t feel ready, maybe we can just leave it for next season and -” 

“Next season?” Yuuri said, eyes going dewey again. “You really want to be my coach again for next season?” 

Viktor reached out and grabbed Yuuri’s hand. 

“Of course I do.” 

“So, you’ll stay at Hasetsu?” 

Viktor closed his eyes and smiled. 

“Yuuri, did you see the score?” 

He blinked. 

“Uh . . . yes?” 

“And what did it say?” 

“323.0. I know that it wasn’t as high as yours, Viktor, but . . .” 

“No, what else did it say.” 

“I . . .” Yuuri hesitated. “Well, technical points were -” 

“No, Yuuri!” Viktor said, laughing. “I mean your rank! What’s your rank?” 

Yuuri’s eyes widened. He hadn’t even bothered to look. What was his rank? He couldn’t see very well without his glasses. 

“I’m . . . I’m first?!” 

“You were the last skater, Yuuri! You won! You got a gold medal!” 

Yuuri couldn’t stop his heart from skipping a beat. 

“I . . . I won!” 

He threw his arms around Viktor. 

“I won.” 

“Yeah, you won gold, Yuuri.”

They both laughed. 

“Congratulations, Viktor,” Yuuri said. 

Viktor pulled back and raised an eyebrow. 

“You’re congratulating me?”

“Yeah. Everyone thought that you couldn’t do it, that you couldn’t be a coach. Well, you proved them wrong. You got me a gold medal at the Grand Prix Final.” 

Viktor smiled again. He reached out and held Yuuri’s hand again. 

“We won you a gold medal.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this because I really wanted to see Yuuri win the Grand Prix Final, and I just have this horrible feeling that he won't on the show. But here's hoping!


	3. The After Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the competition

Chris came up to Yuuri and swatted him on the ass.

“Good job, Yuuri. I didn’t think that you’d win, but you surprised us all today.”

“T-thanks Chris,” Yuuri said. He was still in shock, to be honest. Of course, he’d wanted to win gold at the Grand Prix Final. He’d wanted that so desperately. 

But had he thought that it would actually, legitimately happen? 

Maybe. 

But there it was, the gold medal, still hanging off his chest. Viktor hadn’t let him take it off, even after he’d changed out of his free skate outfit. 

“That’s right! And Yuuri is going to keep surprising us all!” Viktor said, appearing out of nowhere and slinging an arm around Yuuri’s shoulders. 

“Oh? Are you going to keep skating, Yuuri?” Phichit asked. “I know that you were still thinking about retiring, the last time we talked about it.” 

The four of them were standing around the refreshment table against the back wall. 

“No, I’m not gonna retire. I think that I’ve finally found a way to be happy, not just when I skate, but when I perform too. Today was the most fun that I’ve had in ages. So I’m going to keep skating.” 

“That’s great, Yuuri.” Phichit was beaming, and it wasn’t just because of the silver medal hanging off his neck. He was genuinely happy for his friend. 

Viktor was smiling; he hadn’t stopped since Yuuri’s free skate. Yurio couldn’t even look him in the face. 

“And will you be his coach next season, Viktor?” 

Viktor snapped out of his reverie when Chris asked him that question. 

“Hmm . . . I think that’s up to Yuuri,” Viktor replied. 

“What?” Yuuri asked. 

“Oh yeah, when’s the wedding going to be now?” Phichit asked. 

Yuuri turned bright red. 

“W-wedding,” he said on an exhale. 

“Yeah, remember? You said you’d get married when he won gold,” Chris said to Viktor. 

“Of course. I didn’t forget. We can’t get married in Russia or Japan, of course. I was thinking that since we’re already in Spain, we might as well get married here. Maybe we’ll elope tonight! You two can be our witnesses, of course.” 

“V-Viktor!” Yuuri exclaimed. His cheeks burned brighter by the second. Viktor took his hand, and kissed his ring, right there in front of everyone. Christ laughed. Phichit whipped out his phone and took a picture. 

“Gross! Get a room you two!” It was Yurio. Of course, he wasn’t far away. 

“Can’t you two keep that lovey-dovey stuff away from me even for a second? You’ve been all over each other since we got here!” 

Viktor laughed. Yuuri was too busy heaving in embarassment to react to Yurio’s words. 

“Don’t be bitter! You can come to the wedding too! And afterwards, we’ll all do something fun! Like go to the beach! Or maybe we’ll have another dance-off, like last year! Is that why you’re so upset? You want another chance to beat Yuuri, don’t you?” 

“W-what?!” Yuuri almost lost his balance, in his embarrassment. Viktor caught him before he fell over. 

Yurio snorted. 

“I’m still amazed that you’re a figure skater, considering that you have zero coordination. Alright, come on then piggy, challenge accepted.” Yurio was already taking off his suit jacket and handing it to Otabek, who was standing nearby. “I’ll see you on the dance floor.” 

Yuuri stood in Viktor’s arms, mouth hanging open. 

“B-but I didn’t challenge you!” 

“Oh, come on Yuuri! Don’t be chicken now! You can beat him, I’m sure you can. Then, we can do another pole dance like we did last year,” Chris said, winking. 

Yuuri’s face turned even redder. 

Phichit laughed. 

“I don’t think that he’s drunk enough.” Phichit handed Yuuri two glasses of champagne. “Here, drink these. They’ll help.” 

Yuuri shakes his head and pushes away the glasses. 

“No, I think I’ve got this, Phichit.” 

Viktor, Chris, and Phichit watched in awe as his Yuuri dominated the dance floor once again. 

Yurio never stood a chance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this fic! Hopefully I can find the time to write another story this week. Gah! I'm so worried about episode 12, I really hope that Yuuri wins, and that everything is okay between him and Viktor.   
> Also! My favorite thing about Yuuri is how kind he is. Has anyone else noticed that? The boy doesn't seem to have a cruel bone in his body.

**Author's Note:**

> So . . . this was super angsty. I promise, it'll get a little more lighthearted in the next chapter. I just really wanted to explore all their feelings, cause these boys sure do have a lot of them.


End file.
